Archive for November, 2011
The Word: Anger
It is Friday. You woke up went to the kitchen and poured some orange juice into a glass. Your week has been very productive so far and todays weather is particularly conducive to a good mood. To enhance that positivity tomorrow the weekend will begin and you have some interesting travelling plans. You walk towards the door and grab the latest edition of the newspaper from your footpath. Ten seconds later your facial expression has changed your muscles have become tense and your head feels a bit radiated. You have read that an innocent young man was murdered last night without any particular motive. You feel angry.
What is Anger?
Anger is a common part of our lives. Everyday we experience varied sorts of frustrations which derive both from ourselves and from external sources. In the previously cited scenario feelings of anger would have been developed for many reasons but they are all common to the fact that it was a situation that opposed your core convictions. Although you did not burst into tears or destroy the glass of orange juice sitting on the table the emotion was there. You may ask yourself: But I dont know this person so why do I care?
The answer to this question is not as clear as the emotion you felt and nor is it simple but there are some leads. Lets take a journey into the complex psychological mechanisms that produce this controversial and mostly misunderstood emotion.
The Physiological Framework
Fear stress and anger are closely related processes. In previously published articles we’ve discussed several mechanisms that create stress and their natural purpose. In a nutshell the Hypothalamus region of the brain responsible for controlling the Autonomic Nervous System identifies a stressor which could be any event such as a noise and automatically prepares the body to react to that stressor. This is done through sending signals to both the ANS and the limbic system which in turn activate a response mechanism by stimulating body organs to change their regular activity. The outcomes are increased blood pressure sugar levels heart rate and redirection of the blood to selected organs. This is the process which creates stress or the stressed physical state. Both fear and anger are based on the incidence of stress.
In general once the body has reached its stressed ready for fight or flight condition it is our interpretation of the event which will denominate the emotion of fear or anger. The precortex responsible for decisionmaking will send messages to other parts of the brain and the following reactions will be based on its decisions. For this reason some researchers attest that every state of anger is a result of fear. In detailed physical terms anger invokes a reaction in which the skin temperature and electrical conductance are increased the firing sensation whilst the opposite occurs when fear is established the cold sweat sensation.
All these body responses are biologically designed for survival. There is no evidence that anger per se is hazardous to the human body the problem lies in the expression of anger and how easily people get angry it has been previously stated that excessive stress causes physical harm to the body.
For more information on the physiological basis and outcomes of stress visit the AIPC Library www.aipc.net.au/articles and search for the article ‘Dealing with Stress’.
The Sociological Framework
The perspective on anger has changed over time. The initial societal approach to analysing this issue originated in the principles of several different religions and their particular codes of conduct. In three religions Buddhism Islam and Christianity the view towards anger and violence were never favourable. Buddhists consider it one of the five major negative states also known as hindrances or nivarana which directly oppose the way to enlightment. The Islamic religion believes anger is a sign of weakness and an undesirable feeling whilst early Christianity considered it one of the Seven Deadly Sins.
Science has also played its role in defining the perspective on anger. Before Sigmund Freud most scientists believed that there was no direct biological disposition for the expression and emotion of anger. At the end of the 19th century Freud proposed that individuals were born with an innate aggressive instinct which when neglected would instigate hostility and aggressive behaviour. This proposition was disregarded in 1988 when the American Psychological Association and the American Anthropological Association reviewed several research papers and concluded there was no clear indication that anger was genetically predisposed. After the human genome was mapped and other scientific advances were accomplished however such perspective towards anger began to shift again.
Nowadays despite the biological or sociological premise of anger the expression of this emotion is regarded as a highly negative trait in most societies. People that are prone to explode are less capable of forming healthy relationships with others and usually develop a bad image. Workplaces and social environments commonly object to violence and are intolerant to rage. However there are some cultures in which violence is a common part of peoples lives usually in developing countries where there is a significant gap between social standards which cultivates hatred between different layers of society.
Most researchers agree that violent expressions of anger commonly result from behaviour modelling processes. Children from violent domestic environments tend to behave like their violent parents and most of the time this occurs because they assume it is the appropriate or normal way to express their angry emotional state. Violence and anger are also related with situations where being aggressive results in power and social recognition or perceived respect. Many bullies particularly male children act violently upon others to gain status as the alpha male of the group or simply to express their fears and frustrations by shifting attention and blaming external sources for their personal problems. As previously stated anger and fear are closely related emotions.
The Bright Side of Anger
If anger is a natural response of the body why should we oppose it? Being angry is a synonym of being healthy and lively as much as stress works in the same way. People that express no anger are usually incapable of standing up for themselves achieving important goals or surpassing difficult obstacles. Anger is not only part of human nature but also beneficial to the existence of humanity.
Put yourself in the first scenario again: imagine if you felt nothing when you read that newspaper. Anger enables individuals to quickly create an emotional scale which is directly related to their ethical principles and to the avoidance of pain and particular experiences which have resulted in negative outcomes in the past. It is similar to stress defensive mechanisms. If we are completely numb towards something which is totally opposite to our ideals we are likely to accept it and as a result not develop drive and passion towards our most desired goals in life.
The presence of fear anger and stress helps create the alertness and readiness required to react to the environment. But the decisionmaking process plays a very important role in how anger will reflect in our behaviour. Most people tend to associate anger with the actual aggressive responses that may follow it. Being angry does not necessarily mean attacking someone or breaking something. Generally there are two types of behavioural responses to anger:
1 Active responses fighting screaming breaking objects etc and;
2 Passive responses retreating sulking showing hostility or tension etc.
The actual response cannot really be classified in terms of good and bad but the intensity and duration of the response along with the individuals anger threshold how easy it is to make a person angry are the main determinants of an unhealthy angerresponsive behaviour. So if you often get angry with minor problems or situations or you are unable to control your temper or you often get extremely angry about something but simply take it and walk away and then develop hatred you may want to consider anger management. Furthermore the propensity to experience anger can also be increased in particular and inevitable situations such as: menopause PMS birth withdrawal physical bipolar disorder etc.
The Dark Side of Anger
If you fit the description in the last paragraph or know someone that does there are many options for controlling anger responses in order to have a productive and healthy life. Anger Management has become a popular topic in the last decade. If you type in Anger Management on Google you will find over 31 million pages on the subject and along with them numerous strategies and approaches to combat this dark side of the force. It is important to note that anger and stress directly affect both psychological and physical health in a normal person therefore it needs to be considered as a real threat. Furthermore it also has a very negative effect in the societal bonds that an individual may have or could potentially gain.
Counsellors use various approaches in helping clients manage anger. The goal of anger management is to reduce both emotional and physiological arousal that anger causes. Like previously noted you cannot constantly avoid or change every person thing or situation which causes anger but you can learn to control the reactions to them. Letting it out or releasing the bad energy is not a practical way to get rid of the problems which arise from anger: imagine if a person punches someone or something every time they are angry? This is a practice that is not physically or socially acceptable.
One of the main strategies used by counsellors is relaxation. Relaxation techniques such as imagery meditation and breathing can assist with controlling feelings of anger and a tendency to violence. Cognitive restructuring provides the client with the opportunity to create a positive mindset towards the world. Using rational thinking and logic clients aim to defeat anger and replace explosive and antisocial behaviour with reflective actions. If you do not believe ask Anthony Robbins: Using the power of decision gives you the capacity to get past any excuse to change any and every part of your life in an instant. Simple yet effective.
Various other strategies include: changing the environment when it is really inappropriate using humour silly humour can be a great substitute for anger avoiding certain situations there are some avoidable situations which can be well avoided and improving communication sometimes the core source of anger is plain miscommunication.
In the end the objective is to provide the individual with tools he or she will use to become a person who can manage their anger from their perspective and within the social context.
About the writer: Pedro Gondim is a writer and publisher for the Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors. The Institute is Australia’s largest counsellor training provider offering the internationally renowned Diploma of Professional Counselling. For more information visit www.aipc.net.au/lz.
The Web Of Life
The web of life
The uneven journey from birth to death is called life. Life moves on with the help and
company of family relatives and friends. Ups and downs are an integral part of
everybody’d life and they continue to come and go appear and disappear from life’s
journey. What is life? What is the meaning of life? what is the purpose of life? How to
live life perfectly? Most of us can’t give answers to these questions during our entire
life. Many people waste the precious time of their life for earning money only. For them
money and materialistic possessions are life. Such people don’t live life; they just past
their lifetime without trying to understand what is life and how to live it fully. Some
people get exhausted in the search of true love which is rarely available in the present
day world. Those who remain waiting for luck or break in life neither get money nor love.
The super rich people have minimal interaction with their family no true friends no
sincere relatives and no unconditional true love. They only have money to hire and
purchase servants and the needful and exploit them as much as they can. And those
who have a nice family sincere relatives true friends and true love often remain devoid
of money
Those who have money family sincere relatives true friends and unconditional love
leave everybody behind them and start to think and find the purpose and way of living and enjoying life. But such persons are rare. In this world many are satisfied even being in miserable and stagnant conditions and many are dissatisfied even being progressive. Generally the reserve and conservative introverts are happy cheerful simple contended feel fulfilled have tolerance and live longer life. The progressive and enthusiastic sometimes have shorter life span which may be due to many factors like anxiety tension fast pace of life etc.
So to find and get something in life we have to complete our all social assignments and
fulfill our all responsibilities and a limit of lust or desire should be marked. In other words you should be clear about where to reach and what to have and thus fix your goal and destination. Life itself is a responsibility. It is a must for every good person to be responsible towards his duties in order to live life properly. Those parents who do not obey the orders of their own inner self about their responsibilities towards family kids society race and nation never get social respect and their life becomes like hell. The youth who doesnt look after their parents and fulfill other responsibilities towards society nation and race too live a purposeless life and their future becomes
dark. Literature motivates us to live life fully. Travels and journeys teach many things. Knowledge increases alongside travel Literature and travel gives new ideas and about life to man teach many lessons about living life which makes him positive ambitious and hopeful.
Control your unnecessary desires. Self control keeps us away from lust and anger. It
helps us to go ahead with calculated risk to do new experiments in life. Music also gives us mental peace freshness and keep us calm. So literature travel and music give us strength and will to do whatever we want. These are essential and crucial parts of the web of life. Distance between head and heart is increasing in humans. In the past people were dependent upon each other. So there was a kind of binding love and close relation. Guests were cheerfully treated and men had sufficient free time for re creative activities. But with the development of new gadgets and progress of science desire to get everything increases and lust for money becomes the main purpose of life. Everything can be put on sale and bought with money. All worldly entertainments and temporary pleasures of and by materialistic possessions can be bought. All thoughts and mindset of sharing joys and sorrows wishing best for everyone has gone into oblivion.
Those who never face hardships ups and downs of life have limited thinking and stunted growth of intellect. Their experience and knowledge of live is superficial. Those who keep their social responsibilities in fore front work to obtain freedom and joy in every field of life possess deep experiences of life. Without serious experiences and feelings we cant do anything with boldness freshness and freedom.
About the writer: freelance writer since 5 years
The Secret
I just finished watching the video “The Secret.” The movie reflects visually what I have been writing about for years. It definitely should be a priority watch for everyone.
Without giving away too much I would like to call attention to the theme or “secret” presented in the movie. The great “secret” to manifesting all that you desire evokes “The Law of Attraction.” What you try to hold onto you lose. What you give away comes back to you. This is the “Great Secret” and a universal law that always works.
The second part of the “Great Secret” isyou are the power creating all the things you desire. The power comes from no one or no where elseit is not that you have access to or control the poweryou are the “power.” This is the central theme of the movieit is so simple and so overwhelmingly powerful few people will be able to accept it. There are a couple of other major aspects of creation or manifesting mentioned but not really highlighted and they are even more important than the creating process itself.
You must know and be very clear about what it is you desiremost people do not know what it is they want. For instance most of us believe money or things make us happy. That is not true and it is the complete opposite of how the system works. The three steps of the manifesting process are thought word and deed. Behind every creation there is a thought first. The thought itself may not be known on a conscious level and it is often the reason for the belief that the system does not work. Every thought is always made manifest in physical form whether you can perceive it or not.
If your thought isyou want money so you will be happy you will be sadly disappointed. You may get the money you desire but not the happiness. Thought evokes the feeling first and then it is expressed physically by an experience of the physical object. How many times in your like can you recall wanting something and upon receiving itit did not live up to your expectations and you were unhappy about it. It is because your thoughts were unclear about what it was you desired. It is OK to desire something for the sake of having itbut if you have expectations feelings attached to it you will often be disappointed.
If it is truly happiness you wish to experiencethen know happiness. Make it your first thought and the universe will find a way for you to express it. It may be you do not need anything at all to “find” happiness. You may experience it simply by noticing something in your circumstances or environmenta pet that is goofing around a child laughing a kiss or hand on the shoulder from someone close to you. These can be moments of happiness expressed without placing your happiness on having a thing.
You may want the money so you can express your happiness in a certain way and that is different. You have already acknowledged your happiness and are demonstrating it by using the money to express your emotion. It is different in that you are not depending on the money to bring happiness to youyou are happy already.
The next aspect of the “Law of Attraction” is you cannot “have” anything you want. Despite the great amount of time the movie spent on making sure you know how the law worksit left out the most important element of the lawyou cannot have what you want.
When you want something you are expressing lack and lack is what you will receive back. If you say I want one million dollarsyou are really saying you do not have that one million dollars and it becomes your truthit becomes your new reality and it is what you will experience. The fastest way to experience having a thing is to know you already have itit becomes your experience now!
Gratitude was mentioned in the movie but the tiein was very weak. Gratitude is recognition you already have what you desire. Desire is not want but a preference. When you are grateful you are expressing an emotion for something you have even if it is a promise of something to come. “I am grateful for my happiness” is saying you are already happy. “I am grateful for this opportunity” is saying you are already happy for this chance to express yourself happily.
The movie demonstrates very well only part of the “Law of Attraction”the ability to attract what you don’t want and this is a very powerful feature of attraction. In order to attract all the things we desire in our lives all aspects of the law need to be known and understoodnot the least of these are the words we use to express our desires. Words are the command for the law to work and they are the second step in the process of manifestingwe must be careful of the words we choose when evoking the law.
Know this and you will experience what you desirethought word and deed are the three steps in manifesting. Know exactly what your desire is use the correct words to evoke the “Law of Attraction” and you will experience what you desire. It works 100 of the time and is guaranteedyou cannot fail!
There is another important secret at work here. This system will not work for most of you on a conscious level because most of you will not be able to accept the principals. For most of you the concept will be too simple and you will try to figure out why it does not work for you and “not working” will be your experience.
In the movie they brought up a common fear expressed by many who understand the system but question it”there is not enough.”
“If everyone learned this secret and practiced it there would not be enough to go around.” If this is your fearthen it is what you will experience and it will be your truth. All things physical are made up of atomsmatter cannot be created or destroyedit is transformed and the atoms are not lost. It is your thoughts which arrange atoms into molecules and all the physical things you can detect with your five senses. There is always enough to go around. The very rich and powerful already know this and it is not something they wish to share with you.
You “are” the powerit does not come from God or anyone else. You are creating all the circumstances of your life and you are not a victim. You are the power expressed in all you create. You cannot find God because God does not exist outside of yourself. You are God manifesting in the physical form you know yourself to be. You are God expressing yourself physically in this world you created for the purpose of knowing what and who you are. When you finally know yourself as the creator of all you experience you will know you can experience anything you desire.
It is not blasphemy to know self as the creator. All religions teach that you are going “home”back to the creator from where you came. The shortest way to get to where you want to be is to know you are already there.
I am Roy the “writer”I am Roy first manifesting myself as a writer. I do not have to give up one to experience the other. God does not give up being God to know that he/she is experiencing being human or anything else he can conceive. He simply knows that it is he who is creating all the things he wishes to experience. God knows himself as God while your ego believes it is something else. It is the law of relativity and is how physical live is experienced. It is the awareness of your roots which makes physical life easier.
About the writer:nbsp;nbsp;Roy E. Klienwachter is a resident of British Columbia Canada. A published author a student of NLP ordained minister New Age Light Worker Teacher and Phenomenologist. Roy’s books and articles are thought provoking and designed to empower your imagination and take you to places you would never have thought about.
Claim your copy of Roy’s new book at: http://www.klienwachter.com/BookInfo/Struggle/Salespage.htm
Visit Roy at: http://www.klienwachter.com